I'm having a real crisis...
"What's this?"
"Candy!"
"Hey, I like candy...what kind of candy is it?"
"It's Jesus Brand® candy!"
"It looks almost like a Snickers bar, doesn't it?"
"Sort of...in fact, it's just as good as a Snickers bar...but really it's better, because it's good for you, and safe!"
"Well, in that case, I think I'll give it a try!"
"Good going! Now you're thinking right, you're in for the candy experience of your life, it's the best tasting candy out there, people just don't know what they're missing when they don't try Jesus Brand® candy!"
"*munch* *munch*....uh...this is chocolate isn't it? It tastes kinda' bland."
"It's Karob...much better for you than chocolate...isn't it great?"
"uh....not really, it's kinda' mealy and wierd."
"You're just not tasting it right. It's way better than a Snickers bar, you just have to realize that it is!"
"The peanuts in this thing are orange?"
"They're not peanuts, they're carrots...much better for you. Aren't they great?"
"This thing is awful! What kind of caramel is in this thing?"
"It's pure corn syrup...easier to digest. Uh...what do you mean by awful?"
"I hate this candy...it sucks! This thing can't even compare to a Snickers bar! You tricked me!"
"Why you ungrateful little wretch! Here you've been given this great piece of candy and you complain about it, when it's the best candy around!"
"No it's not...how can you say that? Why do you think its so great?"
"You ask way too many questions! You are supposed to eat that candy and enjoy it more than any Snickers bar because its so much better....and it's SAFE!"
"You lied to me. You acted like this was the best thing around...and it tastes terrible. I don't care if it's good for me...I never want to see it again. You can keep your Jesus Brand® if you think it's so great...but I'm sticking with Snickers."
I'm done with the lies.
Following Jesus will never make you cool. It is the epitomy of NOT cool to be a Christian.
It's not a lot of fun.
It's painful and isolating at times.
The Word is bitter in your stomach.
If you thought it was candy like the world has candy...and if you thought that because of me, I'm sorry. It's not candy like the world's got. It's not candy at all.
Following Jesus gets confusing...and some of the answers don't make sense.
It's only for those who, somewhere deep inside, believe that this Jesus is food that can sustain them on this long journey out of here.
There are no Christian rock stars...it's an illusion.
There is no cool way to be stupid enough to believe God.
Christian movies are not safe.
The emperor has no clothes.
Seriously....I'm having a crisis.
"Candy!"
"Hey, I like candy...what kind of candy is it?"
"It's Jesus Brand® candy!"
"It looks almost like a Snickers bar, doesn't it?"
"Sort of...in fact, it's just as good as a Snickers bar...but really it's better, because it's good for you, and safe!"
"Well, in that case, I think I'll give it a try!"
"Good going! Now you're thinking right, you're in for the candy experience of your life, it's the best tasting candy out there, people just don't know what they're missing when they don't try Jesus Brand® candy!"
"*munch* *munch*....uh...this is chocolate isn't it? It tastes kinda' bland."
"It's Karob...much better for you than chocolate...isn't it great?"
"uh....not really, it's kinda' mealy and wierd."
"You're just not tasting it right. It's way better than a Snickers bar, you just have to realize that it is!"
"The peanuts in this thing are orange?"
"They're not peanuts, they're carrots...much better for you. Aren't they great?"
"This thing is awful! What kind of caramel is in this thing?"
"It's pure corn syrup...easier to digest. Uh...what do you mean by awful?"
"I hate this candy...it sucks! This thing can't even compare to a Snickers bar! You tricked me!"
"Why you ungrateful little wretch! Here you've been given this great piece of candy and you complain about it, when it's the best candy around!"
"No it's not...how can you say that? Why do you think its so great?"
"You ask way too many questions! You are supposed to eat that candy and enjoy it more than any Snickers bar because its so much better....and it's SAFE!"
"You lied to me. You acted like this was the best thing around...and it tastes terrible. I don't care if it's good for me...I never want to see it again. You can keep your Jesus Brand® if you think it's so great...but I'm sticking with Snickers."
I'm done with the lies.
Following Jesus will never make you cool. It is the epitomy of NOT cool to be a Christian.
It's not a lot of fun.
It's painful and isolating at times.
The Word is bitter in your stomach.
If you thought it was candy like the world has candy...and if you thought that because of me, I'm sorry. It's not candy like the world's got. It's not candy at all.
Following Jesus gets confusing...and some of the answers don't make sense.
It's only for those who, somewhere deep inside, believe that this Jesus is food that can sustain them on this long journey out of here.
There are no Christian rock stars...it's an illusion.
There is no cool way to be stupid enough to believe God.
Christian movies are not safe.
The emperor has no clothes.
Seriously....I'm having a crisis.
posted by rob at
1:06 PM
6 Comments:
Rob,
I also read your Ooze post. AnneGogh's right. If more of us allowed ourselves to feel as deeply as you are about the mess the church is in, things would change.
You and I and so many others have played our part...we've received what was developed before our time, and we've done our best to move forward with it. Now is the time for tears.
Here's the thing. He's all about Restoration. It is not a coincidence that so many of us are are suddenly rubbing the sleep from our eyes, trying to focus on our surroundings.
Remember when Aslan returned to Narnia, the White Witch was ousted, and the Long Winter melted into spring?
God is doing something new. Dobson's 60% may be in hiding right now, but they'll come out of the shadows when the Sun begins to thaw the frozen places.
By
kingsjoy, at 6:01 AM
BTW, I posted that last comment yesterday morning around 8:00. It's now 12:26 the next morning, and I just ran across your July 2004 entry anticipating the Narnia movies. How did I know you'd be into Narnia?
By
kingsjoy, at 10:19 PM
AMEN!!!!
I love the real food much better than the candy. It sucks when the veggies don't taste good, but at least it is real, at least it is what I was made to consume!
By
Kevin J Bowman, at 1:06 PM
Narnia rocks! Wish I could be there for your Friday night readings.
By
kingsjoy, at 11:46 AM
Hey, I'm having a crisis, too! But thanks for the explanation of why it's not cool to be a Christian. I'm going to print this and give it to people when I'm at a loss of how to explain myself. You see every time I complain about singing a certain song that touches on this very subject, I catch a lot of flack (and I haven't even told the person who wrote it, yet. And I never know how to explain why that song drives me crazy without it sounding like I don't like God or something. Dude, I love Jesus, but it's definitely not a hippie trip. This is a serious, life-altering, sobbing from confusion in the middle of the night thing. But really...how can I make this song go away? -Brandy
By
Anonymous, at 10:58 AM
You'd think some Christians are on commission, the way they pitch Christ.
"Good news! You're free from sin!"
"Really?"
"Absolutely!"
"You mean I can do whatever I want?"
"Uh...well, you're now free to be obedient."
"You mean I wasn't free to obey before?"
"Er, no...well, sort of."
(fast forward 10 minutes)
"...so I'm free to come to church every time the doors are open..."
"Right."
"...and I'm free not to use bad language or drink alcohol..."
"Yep."
"...and I'm free to submit myself to the authority of the pastor and do whatever he tells me..."
"Now you're getting it. Doesn't it feel good to be free?."
By
Unknown, at 7:27 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home