My shoulder has gone stupid. Actually, it went stupid back in February, whilst playing football with the kids from church. It was a cold, drizzly day, and I went out to keep up with a pack of adolescents without the benefit of stretching, or thinking.
At one point in the game, I was moving in on the other QB, and he cocked his arm to pass the ball. This was my moment. I could hear the cheering crowds in my mind, the banners waving in my honor, as I single-handedly would put a stop to the opposition drive. The middle aged, squishy pastor saves the day! As the ball released from his hand, I reached up and swatted it down like a grizzly bear scoring a salmon! It was beautiful! My football player son thinly disguised his great admiration for me with the comment "C'mon old man, it's our ball now, open your eyes!"
The next morning my shoulder was really sore. The aching muscles of a gladiator, I thought. Next day, it still hurt just as bad, and I noticed that I had lost a whole range of movement. Hmmmm. Not good.
It's been almost three months now, and it's been hurting me every day. I finally went to see a sports doctor (which I must say I liked the sound of..."yeah, gotta' go see the sports doctor, he specializes in sports injuries, for those who are involved in the playing of sports, and activities of a sporting nature...." ). His first recommendation was to give me a cortisone shot. If you don't know what that is, it's a strong muscle relaxer injected directly into your shoulder by means of a needle the size of a turkey baster. It was while I was waiting the estimated three hours for him to come in and administer said shot that it occurred to me that doctors should never tell a patient he's going to get a shot. They should just dismiss the patient, as though he were going to the counter to settle accounts, and a group of orderlies should jump him in the hall, put a bag over his head, and then just jam the needle in and out while they hold him down. That would be better than waiting around for the turkey baster to be inserted.
Anyway....after all that, my shoulder is still stupid. It may be rotator cuff damage, and may require surgery. sucks.
At one point in the game, I was moving in on the other QB, and he cocked his arm to pass the ball. This was my moment. I could hear the cheering crowds in my mind, the banners waving in my honor, as I single-handedly would put a stop to the opposition drive. The middle aged, squishy pastor saves the day! As the ball released from his hand, I reached up and swatted it down like a grizzly bear scoring a salmon! It was beautiful! My football player son thinly disguised his great admiration for me with the comment "C'mon old man, it's our ball now, open your eyes!"
The next morning my shoulder was really sore. The aching muscles of a gladiator, I thought. Next day, it still hurt just as bad, and I noticed that I had lost a whole range of movement. Hmmmm. Not good.
It's been almost three months now, and it's been hurting me every day. I finally went to see a sports doctor (which I must say I liked the sound of..."yeah, gotta' go see the sports doctor, he specializes in sports injuries, for those who are involved in the playing of sports, and activities of a sporting nature...." ). His first recommendation was to give me a cortisone shot. If you don't know what that is, it's a strong muscle relaxer injected directly into your shoulder by means of a needle the size of a turkey baster. It was while I was waiting the estimated three hours for him to come in and administer said shot that it occurred to me that doctors should never tell a patient he's going to get a shot. They should just dismiss the patient, as though he were going to the counter to settle accounts, and a group of orderlies should jump him in the hall, put a bag over his head, and then just jam the needle in and out while they hold him down. That would be better than waiting around for the turkey baster to be inserted.
Anyway....after all that, my shoulder is still stupid. It may be rotator cuff damage, and may require surgery. sucks.
posted by rob at
8:26 AM
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