,

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Dear_Someone connected with this address,
People just like you are writing to this 53 year old church, telling us all types of blessings since this church started praying with them. They are receiving divine help in the form of answered prayer....

I'm not kidding...that's how the letter started. It was typewritten with what looked to be a circa 50's typeface, the only thing missing was a few dropped letters and smudges. All through the letter there were, what looked like, hand drawn underlines, as though a very concerned person took the time to emphasize the important stuff for me. Throughout the letter were, what appeared to be, hand-written notes, helpful hints to guide me through this awesome encounter with (g)od's anointing.

The letter went on:
GOD'S HOLY BLESSING POWER IS IN THE ENCLOSED ANOINTED PRAYER RUG WE ARE LOANING YOU TO USE!!!

A prayer rug? For me?....oh, wait...loaning to me. Oh well, one can't be picky when looking for the big blessings. I dug through the envelope to find it. What I found first was another little publication that had some pretty convincing testimonials on it. One was from someone named "Y.G." (clearly someone so poor they couldn't afford a full name), who testified that when she prayed on the prayer rug, she received $46,888.20! That's right...and twenty cents! Now that's one effective prayer rug!

So, it's time to find this thing. Digging through the envelope, I find it. An 11x17 piece of printed paper, made to look sort of like an oriental rug. But there, in the middle of it, is a picture of Jesus.

Then...underneath the image, are these words: Look into Jesus' Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes....

Ok...this rug has already succeeded in one area...it has successfully made Jesus seem pretty creepy. The words go on to instruct me to put the rug on my knees (which makes it less a "rug", and more a shawl in my opinion), and then check my needs on the letter they sent.

Hmmm....better get back to that letter.

Skimming the letter, I got to the end...where there was a whole check-list of the things I needed...from "a closer walk with Jesus", to a blank for me to fill in a dollar amount I wanted Jesus to forward to me.
Oh yeah! Here we go! Come on blessings!!
That's when I saw the fine print...the last area to be checked said "enclosed is my seed gift to God's work of $___________".

Then there was this dire warning: SAINT MATTHEW'S CHURCH MUST HAVE THIS PRAYER RUG BACK. PLEASE DO NOT MISPLACE IT. IT MUST GO TO ANOTHER HOME AFTER YOU USE IT.

Or what? Will I be cursed instead of blessed? I doubt it. As it turns out, St. Matthew's Church is just a scam, run by a man named Rev. James Eugene Ewing. He's been doing this for years apparently. There is no physical place where "St. Matthew's Church" meets...it's just a P.O. box in Tulsa. You can read all about this vile racket in this article. He preys on uneducated and poor people. The last time he released any information about his financial operations was in 1999, when he raped the poor for $26 million.

It's like a trembling...its the only way to describe it. Its probably fleshly rage, but I feel it to my core. I hate...and I mean HATE what these men do in the name of my King. The only thing that calms me down is when I remember the end of the story. One day, Mr. Ewing, if he doesn't repent, will be trying to get in to the Kingdom. But the door will be shutting on him. He'll want to scream that he's done all kinds of great things for God, led many to the Lord...but he'll be so weighted down with his own worldly fat that the only thing that will escape his mouth is a strangled, garbled belch. That's when the King will look through the crack of the closing door and say "What? Sorry, I can't understand you, and I don't seem to recognize you. I gotta' run now. You look cold....here's a prayer rug to wrap around yourself." Boom! The door thunders as it shuts.

Wow, Rob...you sound like you have issues.

heh. yeah. Pray for me.

Oh, and James Eugene Ewing....you're NOT getting your damned rug back.




0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home