Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Barb Cupp is ok...She, Jon and Martha were in a wreck, but no serious injuries, except to the car, which is totalled. Lame. Keep them in prayer if you read this...which at least two now have indicated that they do.

Anyway...where was I?

Oh yeah. Prejudice. See, here's my thing: I don't want to be prejudice toward anybody. Yet I feel it all the time, as I noted earlier, toward religious people. And by that, I don't mean spiritual people...I mean religious people. People who have the language of the Christian subculture down to an artform. People who can squeeze the Hebrew word hallelujah between almost every word. People who throw looks of horrified shock my way when I say things like "I really don't like much Christian music".

The thing is, I want to be a safe place for anyone to land. I don't like it that I know there are some people I will just end up making fun of. Am I much different from the people I've chosen not to love completely? They have their standards, which by and large I offend. But don't I have standards on the opposite side of the barbed wire, which are offended by them? Somehow, it doesn't seem right for me to craft a superior attitude toward someone that Jesus died for, especially when I'm in such need of grace.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having a little fun at the expense of the church at large...that's not what I mean either. In fact, as Ron C. pointed out when he left a comment...Jesus reserved all His harsh words for the religious dudes. I don't have a problem pointing out what I consider to be foibles in the way we go about church, and church leadership in our culture. No, what I'm concerned about is my inner-man. The unseen guy, who inwardly rolls his eyes when someone snaps off a Christian catch phrase in between meaningful sentences.

That's all...I'm praying about it. I don't have some deep or insightful conclusion about this. (apart from the fact that I'm worried I'm a jerk at times). I just get this glimpse of myself that is less than loving...and that's not who I want to be.

I want to love with my whole heart, the way I've been loved. But it sure isn't easy. Right brother? Hallelujah, Jesus is Lord!

nuff said.

Monday, September 20, 2004


Been a long time since I've written here. In some ways I suppose this ends up supporting the greater purpose of wanting to write without fear of creating controversy over what I've written. If I never keep up with this, people will, over time, forget it's here.

Except Ron C. Hey Ron. You're probably reading this now, feeling pretty smug that you and you alone have seen these words. So this actually becomes like a message board then...a place where Ron and I can chat. By the way Ron...I read your blog about F.B., and was deeply moved.

There. Now we have all the formalities over with. Now maybe I can start shaking some of these thoughts loose, spread them out like puzzle pieces, and start putting some essays together. One of the things that's been weighing on my mind lately is prejudice. My prejudice. It's not a racial thing at all. I was raised in a family where the phrase "we all come from one father" was drilled into my head from an early age. I've never really struggled with racial prejudice.

My prejudice is more sinister, I think...because it could be seen as excusable.

Most of the people around me would probably hear of my prejudice, and nod approvingly, saying things like "right on" and "you tell 'em!".

If prejudice is defined as a sense of superiority over and a reupulsion towards a particular type of person...then I've seriously got issues that I need God's help to overcome. It's really been bothering me lately.

Oh yeah....who am I prejudice against? Religious people. Weird, isn't it? I've been recognizing this in myself for a while. If a person comes up and begins speaking to me with heavy "christianeese" language, I feel myself internally flinching, wanting to back away.

*I just got word that Barb Cupp is in the emergency room at Bay....I'll have to finish this later.*